Clarity can be confronting — Lethbridge & Associates

Patty set her New Year’s Resolution: “This year I get a handle on my finances!” She felt hopeful and inspired.

She looked at the pile of mail on the kitchen counter. “I’ll start by opening my mail.” The light feeling slipped away. Her heart raced. “Open the mail Patty. What’s wrong with you?” said the critical voice in her head. Her jaw ached. She didn’t notice her teeth were clenched.

Uncertainty and dread kicked in. “How am I ever going to get a handle on my money?” She called her friend Maddie. “I’m doing it again. I don’t want to open my mail. I know my bank account has overdraft charges and I can only imagine how high the interest charges are on my credit card bill.”

Maddie calmly responded. “Take three deep breaths. Put your feet on the floor, open your hands and take three more deep breaths.” Patty’s hands relaxed and the fear began to ease up. “What do I do now?” “Open one piece of mail. Put me on speaker phone. I’ll stay on the line while you do it.”

Patty opened her credit card statement. “Oh wow. I owe $1,800. How could I let this get away from me?” “Take three deep breaths” said Maddie.

Clarity can be confronting. It is sobering to see reality. It also frees you to make different choices that puts your needs first. You move out of vagueness.

Make a decision to look at one area in your life you avoid: finances, relationships, speaking up, saying no. Ask for and accept help. Start small. Give yourself extra compassion and love. Ask, “What would a person who loves herself do in this situation?” Listen to the answer and do it. Expect discomfort.

Patty reviewed her credit card statement with Maddie. She noticed the interest rate, reviewed each charge, and made a plan to pay it off a little at a time.

Take personal responsibility for your happiness.