How to Manage Transitions
Shaking, I slumped against the cold door in the frozen food isle at Whole Foods. Tears stung my eyes as I fumbled for a crumpled Kleenex in my purse. I called my friend Elizabeth.
“Hey Moira. How are you? Moira? Are you there?”
Elizabeth and me at Gordon’s Pond, Rehoboth Beach, DE
“I don’t know what to buy.” Tears drenched my face. An intense pressure covered my chest. “I don’t know what I want. I don’t know when to eat. I’m so confused. I miss Pat.”
“I hear you. Having Pat gone is a huge transition for you.”
I dropped my youngest son at college last month. I miss him. I miss the structure of making him a meal every night. Now it’s just me and my crazy rescue dog. Cooking for one.
My friend listens to me cry. She doesn’t try to fix me. This gives me the space to feel the grief of letting go of a huge part of my life; being a full-time mom.
Change happens. Some are big, like sending your child off to college. Some are small, like switching dry cleaners. Some you can anticipate while others you cannot. Change is situational. It involves new processes or routines, a new boss or team member. It is external and focused on the outcome.
Change also involves transitions. Transition is the psychological process you go through to come to terms with the new situation. It is internal. It depends on letting go of the old reality and the old identity you had before the change took place.
The key to successful change is to think through what you will have to let go of when the change occurs.
When change happens in your life:
- Identify what you have to let go of
- Allow space for feelings that come with letting go
I wrote a list of what I am letting go of; shopping and cooking for my son, scheduling my time around his comings and goings, and daily conversations over meals. I made a decision to make more space for feeling the loss.
I’m grateful for Elizabeth. She held my hand in the frozen food isle of Whole Foods.
Friends help with transitions.
Ask the Universe to bring you friends like Elizabeth.
She will ;).
