Reduce tensions with others.
Family gatherings are ripe for ‘opportunities for growth’.
What you can control is yourself and your responses.
Tensions at work and at home are challenging. Choose how you want to respond. Take action to change the way conflict affects you and possibly those around you.
BLOCK, TACKLE, & RUN PLAYBOOK
When you have a disagreement with someone try the following steps.
Find common ground.
Show that you heard the other person’s point of view.
- Listen for the emotion being expressed
- Empathize with them, even if you don’t agree with them
“It sounds like you are angry with ____________ (me, politicians, causes) because ________ (I wasn’t very attentive during our last discussion, politicians are all crooks, global warming is hurting your business.”)
Look for similarities.
We are both human beings.
We drive blue cars.
We like gravy.
We are both watching football.
Identify points you both agree on.
- Having a profitable business supports the family and community.
- Getting a good night’s sleep is beneficial.
- Dogs are wonderful.
Use phrases.
“Isn’t that interesting.”
“You may be right.”
“I hear you.”
“That doesn’t work for me.”
Set a goal and intention.
Goal: “I’m going to find 5 similarities with this person.”
Intention: “My intention is to be open minded and curious.”
Assume ‘good person in bad circumstances’.
We have lots of conscious and unconscious assumptions about others. These influence our interactions with them.
Instead of thinking, “There they go again,” try,
“I wonder what could be going on with them?”
“What might they be feeling or fearing?”
Come up with two possible reasons for the behavior you’ve observed. Maybe they didn’t sleep last night, or their boss gave them a written warning, or they received an unexpected bill they can’t pay.
Follow these steps and make it easier to be in control of yourself and your emotions.
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Intensity is not a perfume!
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