Learn to accept instead of expect.
An expectation is a belief about what will happen in the future. Expectations frequently guide your behavior.
Your expectations shape your reality. Be aware of the following common unrealistic expectations that set you up for negative emotional reactions:
- Life should be fair.
- Opportunities will fall into your lap.
- Everyone should like you.
- People should agree with you.
- People should understand what you’re trying to say.
- You should be perfect.
- Things and people will make you happy.
- You can change another person.
Examples
“If my marriage were good, then it would be easy.”
“I should get straight A’s in school or an outstanding performance review.”
Unrealistic expectations assume a level of control that you don’t actually have in a situation. They give you a false sense of protection. You may believe that if you loosen your expectations, other people will take advantage of you. Instead, focus on how people treat you in the present moment. This gives you more information about your safety than unrealistic expectations do.
Develop comeback statements for your expectations.
When you think, If my marriage were good, then it would be easy, respond to yourself: “Relationships take effort, lots of communication, and compromises to work.” When you make a mistake, say, “Everybody makes mistakes. Welcome to humanity.”
Expectations are part of the human experience. Be patient with yourself as you learn how to wear life like a loose garment.
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Don’t let unrealistic expectations prevent you from enjoying your life.
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